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qwerty

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Everything posted by qwerty

  1. As many of you, after my hppd onset i became very very sensitive to any medication or drug, alcohol, coffee even herbal tea etc. After 1.5 year of hppd my symptoms are stable now. Its not getting better or worse but as i said i am very sensitive, a small cup of coffee could lead to fuckin panic attack. I only take fish oil as a supplement and i always try to eat healthy but my headache is killing me these days along with my fuckin tinnitus. I did my best to cope without medication but i started to think that i must find a temporary solution. My only option is this right now : Dexketoprofen 25mg http://www.medicines.org.uk/guides/dexketoprofen%20trometamol/Pain Should i take it? What are your thoughts?
  2. Yes bro, first i get hppd i was like a zombie. Extreme guilt, the only sense i was feeling. I know well this condition but i am sure you will be dp/dr free too. My medication was body building. I was feeling very tired but i never missed a day in 3 months and slowly i started to feel like old me. Again i am sure you will be ok too but i cant give any promise about visuals
  3. my DP/DR and anxiety totally cured in 2 months without any medication but i did not see a tiny bit improvement in visual symptoms in 1 year. i am dp/dr and anxiety free right now but at the same time i dont have an acceptance for my visuals. i am still believing that they will dissappear. thinking too much about this issue sometimes may cause a sadness but again not anxiety.
  4. @zukov no i am not taking anything, i am eating healthy and rarely 2-3 bottles of beer if i go out @onedayillsailagain 60 mg kavaloctones in one capsule. i tried 4 x 60 and still nothing. so if it is not reverse tolerance i think i should find the original brew or tincture but as i said i searched kava kava for a week and found only that one i showed you. btw thanks for kava lounge. maybe i should try ebay or something. @merkan i need to find something, i tried pot 2 times after my onset, first was not bad but the second one was a disaster my symptoms permanently worsened only with a half joint so i dont want to go sober for the rest of my life either, i have to find something natural to drink or smoke, valerian root and st john wort also giving me nothing.
  5. i tried my best to find kava kava in my country. after a long research i found this one: http://www.natrol.com/images/Variant/medium/949.jpg i bought it and tried but i did not feel anything. on the label it says take max 2 pills per day, i took even 4 but again unfortunately nothing. any comments are appreciated
  6. Yeah i was thinking about this last night with same words... I am not seeing it but at the same time i am... It is not a hallucination or CEV. Seeing something in the brain. Really weird and nearly impossible to describe. It is like an introduction to a dream but you are awake. I also hear things rarely but again i dont ''hear'' it. It is in the brain. Really weird... All i hear is fucking tinnitus unfortunately. I have to say that my CEV's except visual snow (faces, sometimes scary) and this weird issue started after my first try of pot, 3 months sobriety after the onset of HPPD. I smoked a half of a joint. First i felt like oh god i missed this feeling. Then my visuals started to go crazy, letters moving, strong after images etc. Then a bit anxiety but i was still happy because i love weed and i could fight with little anxiety.. 1-2 hours later i went to bed and 10 minutes later in the dark suddenly i realized that i was seeing a beach with sea, sand, trees etc. It was not clear or colorfull, like a dark pale shadow but it was there. My anxiety started to increase then i thinked about a human face. I dont know why i thinked or dont know how to describe but a human male face like joker with a bitchy smile and suddenly i saw it as a CEV and immediatly afterwards a hardcore panic attack started. After 3 months of my onset of hppd my cev's were only little bit vs and i never have a panic attack after my sober period but after this panic attack i could not sleep at dark nearly 4-5 months any little sound from the house or outside was terrorizing me and as i said i started to see faces everynight. My CEV's started to diminish after 5-6 months but this seeing with brain issue continues. DO NOT SMOKE POT. --- Edit: I forgot to mention, after this half joint pot experience interestingly my brains face recognition a bit changed. It is again hard to describe but i became much sensitive to recognize a face. I hope you understand what i say, think about 9gag post ex : http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/5791994_700b.jpg By the way i am considering writing a really detailed topic about my hppd especially about symptoms with my weak english and i will do it in a week. I am sure you will enjoy because i really like reading people's detailed symptoms. 10 months passed from my onset and i am anxiety and dp/dr, brain fog free now. I am going to graduate this summer and there is not any problems with my social life(first month i could not leave my bed you can read my old introduction post how i got this shit etc-350-400ug acid- i was a terrorized corpse without any intelligence)I am clever and funny as old me now(except short term memory my short term memory is fucked like my pothead times and there is a %10-15 speech difficulty which is not understandable from others) but my visuals did not change a tiny bit in 10 months. They are still same. Tinnitus joined after 5 months. My biggest issues are 1.tinnitus,2.floaters,3.afterimages now. But there are also countless weird issues like the subject of this topic and i noted them all. I smoked pot 1 time in 10 months, started to drink alcohol after 3-4 months (1-2 times a week 2-3 bottles of beers) and i am still drinking but never drunk.
  7. betahistine dihydrochloride 24mg 2 pills per day and zinc + vitamin c pills definitely helped to my tinnitus. There is an atleast %75 improvement and no interaction with my hppd.. I am very happy because i was going mad but now i am very relieved.. i hope it is a permanent effect.
  8. my tinnitus is very very bad right now.. this is started 5 days ago (5 months after the onset of hppd)
  9. the image and colors are %90-95 stable but it crates a strong afterimage for me unfortunately
  10. I hope she will be good in no time
  11. Hi, i need some help with my supplement use. I started to take many supplements together daily and i need some feedback from users. Here is the list : Fish Oil NAC (N-acetylcysteine) Ginkgo Biloba CoQ10 Alpha lipoic acid Turmeric Vitamine B complex + C ----------- I ceased taking magnesium, st john wort and valerian root. What do you think ? Is it too much ? Or can i add some other stuff ? How long should i continue to take? After 3 months of hppd my anxiety is now nearly zero. Maybe 5-10% but unfortunately my visual symptoms and tinnitus are worse. Nowadays I am smoking 10 cigs daily and 2-3 bottle of beer in a week. Anyway i am waiting your thoughts about my supplement use. Thank you very much.
  12. mgrade, as i said i am a real big fan of weed but i have nothing to do. I cant smoke it. Maybe i can try to handle the possibiliy of worsening visual symptoms but what about anxiety? I am pretty sure if i smoke i will experience what you wrote (dissociative state and extreme anxiety) Maybe you will not believe but i dont want to smoke. I lived 6 years with weed i went to school, hang out with my friends, i always studied with weed too. I did everything under the influence of thc and i really really liked it but after this anxiety i ceased it immediately. I was thinking about living as a pothead to the end of my life but now i cant smoke, i cant feel the good weed effect and at the same time i cant be completely sober. Just fuck it. Today when i woke up the first thing i noticed was the tinnutus. Eventhough it was mild, with the visual distortions i have my anxiety kicked in immediately after 1 or 2 minutes. I didnt want to leave the bed and at the same time i didnt want to continue to sleep. I stayed there 10 minutes like a corpse and listened the tinnitus and searched for visual distortions. After this perfect way to start the day i went to bathroom and continued to think about hppd. My anxiety started to diminish after 2 - 3 hours. I went to gym and forced my self to train with fuckin visual snow. I never wear glasses for my entire life but now there is not any single time without glasses when i am outside. Summer sunlight fucks my eyes. I hope this issues will improve in time..
  13. mgrade Thank you for your kind reply and good wishes. As i said i hope we all be healed. I really cant think about the effect of that super-hero lsd dose. I made some researches about keppra and sinemet but the side effects seem to me little hard. At least the possibility of the side effects. I cant believe it.. 2 weeks ago i was a healthy but pothead person but now i need parkinson drugs ? As i writing this sentence my stomach started to kill me again.. For ssris and benzos i can say that i am very afraid about the chance of worsening symptoms. I dont know what to do.. I am trying to stick with natural stuff but fuck just i dont know.. ferret Everybody knows that i am a weed smoker and i never be embarrassed of that.. my parents, my friends, my gf accepted me like this (besides everybody smokes constantly pot around me) but this hppd thing.. i dont want to be labeled (is this the correct word i dont know) fuck guys i feel really bad. I can cope with physical tiredness which started after hppd or visual distortions(i think they are mild) but the anxiety is really killing me. I am sorry i write always in a negative way but this is how i feel. I hope as you said this anxiety will be manageable in time. My stomach is really bad but this is a emotional effect i can feel it. My stomach is physically fine i know that but my anxiety directly affecting it. I am really sorry i dont want to talk like this but you know i have nobody to talk. Today i went out at 10.00 am and i returned to my home at 18.00 pm. I felt nearly constant anxiety in this time. I couldnt concentrate to anything i did, i just think about hppd, the chance of worsening symptoms, search for visual distortions even i was having sex! i am very depressed right know. I dont know tomorrow what will bring to me but i will try to do my best. I am very sorry for all of this all i want is to be able to live without the anxiety. the only positive thing that i can say, when i first felt the anxiety it was always there. Now nearly two weeks after the start, its like comes and goes. sometimes i feel like old me (just feel not visual) but even in this time a single very noticable visual distortion or just thinking about it could starts my anxiety again. First i bind this to valerian and st john but i dont know maybe just a placebo effect.
  14. thank you for your reply. i am doing my best to adapt visual distortions but the anxiety is still killing me. i feel better at nights even with the presence of more visual snow but when i wake up i feel like totally suicidal. i dont want to leave the bed and do anything. i force myself to get up and take a shower etc but it is really hard. i hope this anxiety will pass. i keep drinking herbal mixtures and my family keep asking me questions about my attitude change and things like this every morning. I wont tell to anyone about my condition. This is my final decision for sure. I just say to my family, to my gf, to my friends that i feel depressed etc. But i need to talk about hppd. My mother offered to go to a mental doctor but i refused it. I wont tell my condition to doctors. All i can do create a depression story and stick with it. This will lead to SSRI and i am very afraid for the possibilities of worsening. I researched a bit about sinemet but i need much more informations about dopamine drugs. I am very afraid about these medications too. I never went to fitness or tried to live healthy in the past.. Now i want to do it but i feel very tired. It is very hard. I hope this misfortune will leave us all. Thank you again for your kind reply.
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