I developped HPPD last year during a rave. Took way too much exctasy, 1 speed + 4 E total in 12 hours (I was a regular roller, something like 1x/2weeks so I started to need a little more for a good buzz(4E was overkill and stupid).
I'm a non-smoker, and I was new to the rave scene, popped my first chemical drug ever like 3 months before that overdose. So, no prior experience at all.
I dont really know what actually happened, when my 4th pill kicked in, it was like i wasn't touching the ground, i couldn't control my body but my mind was all present(I could hear my girlfriend screaming for help..). Then I started shaking from everywhere just like an epilepsy attack for 20 seconds. Then it stopped, and I felt fine or more like high as fuck
(like nothing ever happened) and I kept partying until the end.
Next morning, nothing special, usual hangover from the speed.
The day after, heard voices in my head while trying to sleep, happened only once.
Then, I was fine for a week, 0 effects, like nothing happened, and suddenly... panic attacks, anxiety attacks, static, visual, waking up in the middle of the night out or breath, feeling like im outside my body.
I couldnt drive, go to public place, watch TV, read books, etc.. worst period of my life
It tooks 4-5 months for the panic, anxiety, dr, halos to go away. Since September, I only have some visuals and they only get worse when I lack sleep or before my exam sessions, but its very bearable and I learned to live with it.
I get drunk maybe once a week and I dont have any problems, even when I drink a lot and have the worst hangovers the next morning.
That's about it for my story, I consider it a recovery since I can do everything I was doing before (except drugs )
And that brings me to my next question:
I'm still in the rave scene, EDM music means a lot to my life, and I still want to attend raves. I tried sober rave, and it was nice but the feeling wasnt the same. I dont want to take any speed or mdma (I might consider small dose of pure MDMA if anyone has experienced it).
I'm considering:
1. Going for caffeine pills, maybe 3x 200mg and party from 11:30pm to 10am
2. small dose of pure mdma (not sure about that)
3. green pills ( http://greenpartypills.com/ )
the safest bet for me would be the caffeine pills, but I dont think it would be enough.
the green pills sounds great, but I dont know if they'll make HPPD worse since they give same effect than speed/MDMA.
don't really wanna go mdma route, but if someone tried a small dose and only made HPPD not that much worse, I'd give it a shot since my symptoms arent that bad at all.
(Of course, I'm aware it's taking a huge risk and that I should never roll again, but if I get lots of replies saying very small dose of pure MDMA had no after effects, i'd give it a shot)
Need some advices on high cafeine intake, green pills, experience with small doses of pure MDMA
Thank you for reading
Jonathan