Memnoth

Societal fanatics confined by norms, I for one reject this combined force. Though occurred to me that unbound by these to be, is being weird for the sake of being weird. So alas I am bound again, though higher perception I have found, this perspective of humankind.

You forgot to switch present tense, this is an oxymoronic statement. You're stating that epinephrine is fueling/causing symptoms yet you do not think they're causing symptoms. If we switch to past tense; I never said the symptoms were caused by epinephrine. I was stating that maybe the function of epinephrine has somehow changed.

Besides taking action on adenosine activity in the brain, caffeine binds to beta adrenergic receptors on the heart by mimicking norepinephrine, though epinephrine binds to these receptors as well. If we then take into consideration that anxiety, stress and amphetamine comedown increase HPPD symptoms, we could reach the hypothesis that HPPD is somehow related to the function of adrenaline. Since amphetamine increases norepinephrine and dopamine in the brain, the body compensates the blood pressure by lowering the level of adrenaline in the bloodstream, decreasing the symptoms during the high, then causing the opposite effect during comedown. Also, my symptoms first arrived when I was being treated with Fluoxetine which has been observed to change the levels of norepinephrine and dopamine in rats. This makes it seem that the function of adrenaline has changed to be causing the symptoms of HPPD. Can anyone detect any flaws in this hypothesis?

Behind you is a presence, semi-existent as defined by its essence This faceless mask of terror, smashing through your ego mirror Soon to put a hand on your shoulder, your heart will turn to boulder Palpitations will greet you at last, for your mind has deemed the threat as vast Creation of a stray thought, the antagonist of your very will is locked A freezing moment of despair, this feeling of an unknown glare But do not look back, for your mind may conjure another trap

I am the arithmetic arbiter of parametric eternity, the sole substantive unexpurgated presence of symmetrical destiny. Conjugator of both beginning and the end, a floating symbol of the linear time coefficient. I am the subjective variable of defined presence in space and duration, a super organism composed by the collective of history, culture, knowledge, diversity and society. I am us. We are one.

As the bully smirks his battle ready inclination, my shattered self control displays vindication, I will break his mental foundation. - When the air rumbles through the echoing footprints on your flesh torn bones, when you have become the very maggot swarming dirt you stand upon, shall you fall. - And when the smothered essence of your humanity screams in the dark, I shall shackle your last instinct as your drowning body sinks into the twitching panic of realization. - As the shadow of your former self stares into the abyss of death, only the pale resentment of your corpse will gaze back. - In the halls of oblivion, the wheezing remnants of flesh will crawl again to claim the thrall that you have become. I choose though not to fight, as I am blinded by my self loving vanity, my mind demands pure clarity. Never will he comprehend the corrosive judgement that was going to be placed upon his smiling hollow soul of shallow insignificance.

Speaking with personal experience on both questions, fluoxetine (brand name Prozac) worsens visual snow permanently, after 5 days of treatment it increased my symptoms by 300%. Taking amphetamine while having visual snow appears to only worsen the symptoms during comedown, 5 years of sporadic amphetamine use have not worsened my symptoms permanently as far as I can tell.

Yes, neurosynaptic patterns by neuroplasticity follows the flow of electric activity in the brain, throwing a neurotransmitter out of balance by ingesting a psychoactive drug slowly causes priority changes in the brain. Damage may then be defined by how much cognitive decline the reconstruction results in, as this defines the very value of our brain. Safe drug usage of this sort can only be achieved by balancing the intake in response to neuroplastic reconstruction, staying off the drug long enough to enforce normal functionality between every high. Brain functions simply react differently when a neurotransmitter is unbalanced, it becomes altered in the long run from abusive usage. Yes, neuroplasticity defines functions as altered when tampered with by the influence of a drug, though reshaped into normal function, if possible, during normal state of mind using the power of time. Studies have confirmed residual alteration in neurosynaptic patterns on experiments with giving amphetamine to mice. The alteration persisted for 8 months after a single dose of amphetamine. Only if the psychoactive substance has a euphoric property, then it's compared to any positive feeling, like the simple desire to indulge in an emotional state of joy. Speaking from an objective perspective, reconstruction of neurosynaptic patterns involving pleasure areas of the brain can be driven to the point of it overriding any conflicting electric activity. This can be converted to being defined as addiction, as the desire is overriding thoughts of repercussions. There are instances of amphetamine users growing so fond of the instantaneous rush by injecting intravenously, they feel that using the syringe has become such a joyous activity they would inject water in lack of amphetamine. All drugs not affecting your visual perception to the extent of stimulating the same receptors causing HPPD are safe to use in that aspect. Though even if they affect those receptors, a brief high, relatively speaking, does not need to cause more neurosynaptic reconstruction that increases symptoms. Moderation is the keyword. Electric conflictions in the basic need of gaining nutrition, fluids and sleep are statistically the largest factor of body decline. Yes, according to neuropsychiatric studies, ecstasy abusers for example, have been reported having a decline in mass among brain cells covering the areas of emotions like motivation, decision and safety. Long term bensodiazepine use can cause cognitive dysfunction because of neuroplasticity selectively killing off cells as a response to lowered electric activity in the brain. Sounds like an archetypical axiomatic statement of neuroevolutionary adaption. Concepts are only complex when fundamental understanding is conflicted or inadequate. Neuronal circuit priorities are defined by our genetic predisposition to maintain brain functions in a specific manner. The visual disturbances can therefore be linked to a rudimentary group of neurons, assigned genetically to their lost functionality. Not reshaping into normal function because of an adjacent group of purpose-fulfilling neurons sharing stimulation, promoting the area to exist and cause output. One factor as an example could be the constant stream of visual inputs stimulating the rudimentary group of neurons. Psychoactive substances would then be the cause of this shift in functionality by reacting with the neuroplasticity that defines the binding around the dysfunctional group of neurons. With this data at hand, it suggests that dopamine alters the behavior of function but fails to alter the neurosynaptic patterns enough to delete the output of symptoms. Klonopin or other anti-epileptic bensodiazepines works by suppressing enough electrical activity in the brain to leave the rudimentary function in the shadow of active neurons. It behaves as a benign tumor, fueled by its surrounding biomatter, giving the impression that counteractions or cures have to be invasive surgical removal, intense selective psychoactive stimulation or, if you possess the genes where the rudimentary neurons are distant enough to lose stimulation while in a normal state of mind, simply avoid drugs until full recovery. Contemplating on the concept of curing this condition with the psychoactive substances of today, probability calculates ineffective use. Theoretical treatments established as treating symptoms only (semantic tautology observed). Seems as though you either have the genes enabling neurochemical activation of HPPD neuronal activity and the ability to decline it with time, or activation with the aftereffect of growing a strong connection in the dysfunctional neurosynaptic patterns. The latter being seemingly permanent. Did I cover everything?

The flowing river of words, my streaming mind conjures. Eating stimulants and pearls, grants me mental worlds. Sent as rants and hurls, reality comes at worst. Though reality can be restored, a dose of pearls restores. Now the past is forgotten, the future I hold. I master the present, by leisure I fold. A god at creation, a pinnacle sensation, king of temptation. Vanity by nature.

I made no such assumption. The statement itself establishes an absolute clarification asserting the implication to metaphorically provide information in a comprehensive convenient matter. Furthermore, Neural Darwinism along with Neuroplasticity renders any statements regarding neural damage and brain adaptability synonymous. Neurosynaptic patterns redefine their pathways when stimulated by electrical impulses for the purpose of optimizing the electrical time of travel between the stimulated areas. Consequently, we experience this as a result of tampering with our neurotransmitters. Neuronal damage by MDMA consumption is proven both biochemically and neuropsychiatrically. When too much Serotonin and Dopamine are released in the same synapses, Dopamine gets accidentally broken down by 5HT enzymes. This produces hydrogenperoxide, which has highly oxidative effects and are thus corrosive. The long term effects of using MDMA frequently has been documented by neuropsychiatrists. Brain scans were taken on regular users and it showed visible gaps in their brain, largely affecting the areas that controls emotions, motivation, energy, joy and stress. I need to come down now from Modafinil, I'm going to smoke some weed and take a handful of Valium. Been awake for 3 days studying evolution, biology, biochemistry, geochronology, geology, meteorology, tectonics, geochemistry and paleontology. Why? Because I'm programming an evolution-biology simulation game. Great fun, will upload when finished. I'm writing this off-topic now because I suffer from severe social anxiety when I'm not on a stimulant. I will be back though, maybe after 1 - 4 weeks. Autistic, eccentric and lonely.

Thanks a lot for posting, that was really informative. I hope you understand that I can only express myself through what I have experienced and through informative possessiveness. Which seems to lack in Benzodiazepines specifically, interesting. I got a little befuddled to be honest when I read that you don't expect me to believe you. Of course I believe you. You are also completely justified on the matter with taking large doses of benzo. I guess I was subjectively defending my own claims, since that is all I know and I am still a human being. I thought I was making neutral statements with enough informative parameters, but now I have a lot more. Thank you for sharing your experience. On another subject, I didn't even know you could get a hold of barbiturates anymore, but oh well. I also now must relate in the essence of the previous post with spreading a story with hope for virtual radial magnitude of power and reach. I read about two girls in the newspaper once, they were on their way home after buying some amphetamine powder, or so they thought. They decided to do one line each, the first girl did 200 MG and the second girl took about half, 100 MG. A couple of minutes later, an ambulance were on the way to pick them up in their suddenly stopped car. When they arrived both were unconscious, the one who snorted 200 MG didn't survive, and the other girl ended up in a coma. Turned out it was Alprazolam. But I understand the essence of the general emotional delivery in your post OliverW, I aver and intellectually assimilate your words. I am going to study Benzodiazepines on a whole new level now, libraries, universities. So thank you again. I just remembered my uncle died a couple of weeks ago from mixing benzodiazepines with ethanol.

I guess you are right about my cousins, but it's difficult you know. About the Benzodiazepines, they don't affect your respiration much, this I have researched myself and heard from a doctor. And well, they're not unhealthy to eat really, most damage occurs when brain activity lowers due to Benzodiazepines affect on gammaaminobutyricacid (GABA). When GABA binds to its receptor, it stops the electrical signal from passing on from one neuron to another, this will, if taken continually for years on end, it could lead to cognitive dysfunction. But it will take decades and other factors before you die of a seizure. Drugrelated deaths are always easily accessible in the media because when it happens, it gains a lot of attention due to international drug legislation, (international just for the sake of simplification). But if you haven't taken any, and don't know much about them, maybe you should research some. When I researched Benzodiazepines, I found that withdrawal was pure horrifying agonizing misery in hell, though they rarely kill you.

Thanks alot.

And no fuckin way you took 16 pills a day for a month man whyy Actually I could take up to 200 pills a day, just over a weekend though. It's not life threatening, read up on LD50 on Wikipedia. Still_here: Yes, I love Benzodiazepines, they make me hyperactive so I can clean the apartment and play games and stuff. And yes, you seem to describe the common symptoms of autistic behavior.

I wasn't speaking literally, I was trying to display how the damaged neurons could be eliminated without engaging myself in pharmacological terms, making myself more understandable to others. But thank you for that information, I was not aware of that.

Thank you, I don't take benzodiazepines regularly, It's just that I've eaten them sporadically and unplanned for 5 years, and I ate about 500 pills a month, and that withdrawal was indeed a bitch, I got so bitchslapped I got a psychosis. But now I'm not dependent anymore, just tolerant. And about your cousin, I was acting extremely childish until I was 19 years old, autistic people do have a tendency to have longer periods of growing up. And yes, I must try and be more humble, It's just a little more difficult with Asperger.

This is still a huge step for me to start posting online, I have had so severe social phobia. You know there are advantages to being autistic, but there are also disadvantages (Well duh, that's why it's a diagnosis), My weaknesses, disadvantages or even disabilities as some lowly intellectual thralls called it, involves: I don't know when I say too much, I can't see the social rules behind the air in front of me. I can't react emotionally when someone tries to provoke me, but it still hurts inside. I can't focus at all on anything because of my ADD, except on things that excite me, like writing. But my kitchen is a disaster zone, ground zero, and I live in a group home. Though I have my own apartment, it's just called a group home because there is staff nearby if anything happens. Then my advantages, capabilities, omniscience. Sorry if this sounds like boasting, but It's late and I'm hyper tweaked on Modafinil. I can read about 1500 words per second, I almost have an Eidetic memory. I consider myself to be very skilled at language, I'm from Sweden so I'm not even a native English speaker. Since I have been reading my entire life, I know almost everything about everything. A friend of mine took me out once just so I could get out, and do you know what all of his friends called me? Either "The Walking Encyclopedia" or "The Genius". That felt nice actually, being appreciated, that's what we're all searching for in life. I can explain why, in the perspectives of Cognition, Psychology, Psychiatry, Anthropology, Sociology, Neuropsychology, Pharmacology, Neurological, Biological, Evolutionary... I think I'm going to stop there. How do I feel right now? I've been awake for almost 70 hours on Modafinil, which actually feels great. But I worry about the comedown, I have enough pills to be awake 3 days again sometime. But then what? I wasted all my money on Benzodiazepines, and with my extreme tolerance I ate them all over a weekend. That's 400 MG of Clonazepam. I feel that I am too bored with things in general when I'm not on drugs. That's why I worry, I'll have a bad comedown, and then I'll be extremely bored for a month, unless I ask my family for money. Though I can't ask my uncle or my cousins, I insulted them and called them low intellectual blank genome templates that will never do anything significant in their entire lives. And why did I do that? Because I had just eaten about 20 Xanax. So that bridge is burned. So you made it this far through the ramblings of a madman? Well, I have a joke I came up with, I was saving it for last. Positive reinforcement for reading my entire post. I went to the doctor the other day, and said to him: "I am having a really hard time falling asleep", so the doctor asks him "Do you have any idea why that is?". The man replies: "Yeah, it's my neighbor, he plays loud music every night. So the doctor asks him: "But why are you here then? Isn't this something you should take up with your neighbor?", He replies "But you are my neighbor!" Hope you liked my joke, also hope I didn't expose too much about myself. That's all about me, did I sell my soul to HPPDonline now?

Now I wouldn't know how to express the antonym for welcomeness, but I do know the foundations of introduction. It begins psychologically by establishing your own idiosyncrasies, and then further emotionally developing into a story, for therapeutic reasons, I hope, otherwise you'd be a pretty odd masochist, but which could either be a memory of pure ecstatic joy or dehabilitating pain and misery, or you could be one of those seldom individuals that writes the tiniest line in the world somewhere and never comes back. I hold good faith this is not because of the community. I knew I could pull it off. Showing you who I am without talking about myself, I better not make a habit out of this. Alright.. sincerely this is starting to sound like a blog. So here I am, on an internet forum, a community. My "one small step for man". I say this because I have suffered from severe anxiety since I was 10 years old, I'm 21 now and still suffer a little, but it's manageable. I am diagnosed with Asperger Syndrom and ADD, and I can feel like I have finally developed emotionally enough to be social somewhere. Somewhere to share my thoughts, somewhere to receive the emotional benefit of simply fitting in. Though vicissitude inclined, in lieu of this pandering persona, I alternate volitionally in leniency to simply contemplate, solemnize this observable representation, this astute perspicaciousness. This virtual Hippocratic exurbia that is this forum. Ah, the play of facade concealed, phototaxiaclly avoidant of the gratuitous luminescence of cholecalciferol. Excuse my pleonastic prolixly tautological verbosity. I get carried away sometimes, I also feel like I'm a born teacher. Since I am autistic I never did play with any other children, so when I was about 2 years old, I started reading. Sometimes I feel omniscient, but that thought is beyond vanity to Narcissistic Personality Disorder I got when my mother abused me physically and verbally when I was young simply because she couldn't handle an autistic kid. I have recovered now though. And oh! the HPPD: I have had severe visual snow for 6 years (2006. that is, for those who can't count and for future readers), it all began with me getting my diagnosis and everything went well, I was in a class specifically designed for people with Asperger Syndrom. But as with many autistics out there, I have no reactions to emotions. So my physician draw the conclusion that I was depressed, and therefore prescribed me with Fluoxetine (Prozac, SSRI). After four days of taking them continually, I got so severe visual snow I had to stop immediately, I was so scared because I had no idea what was happening. I also have depersonalisation, and I don't know if this is related to my HPPD, but I get a psychosis about every 3 month, it has been that way through my whole life. So it can't be the drugs, that's at least my humble hypothesis.

So I have had an interest in writing things, though they often become short because I have ADD, so instead of writing a novel, I wrote a couple of poems. I hope you enjoy. Constructive criticism is also welcome. The Madman There is this man, living in my lair Yes I see him there, everyday, almost at my care Sometimes, I look at him, here, from my place Every time, he is staring, right back at my face On the other side, through the opening of the door Always watching, I wonder, as I shift my look down to the floor Always, when I see him, in the periphery of my eye He follows me, as fast as he was I How does he know, I am growing mad My every move he mimics, as if my mind he had But this, only when I see him with my eyes, he does My loathe for him affects my very sanity, what a fuss Today I say, this is enough, I never laugh because he is mad, and this is deeply sad I threaten him, with a body gesture, at last He threatens me back, amazingly, as fast Insane I ran, to the kitchen, grabbing me my knife With this I thought, I will end his very life Stabbing him, hoping to slice his main artery vein But this is dim, I don't hear his verbal agony pain Instead, what reaches my very ear, fulfills my every fear Oh how I see, that the man who lost his sanity, was really me I gaze upon one broken bit, of my dear mirror, which I had clearly hit The alcoholic A face without mind, a sufferer behind Deep mental urge, for the only purge Thrall of a bottle, an endless battle Floating through the street, as carried by my feet Void of terror, introspecting my error Confabulate, extemporize Anything to realize As though sirens lure, I can't find my cure This aching pain, destroying my brain Memories mirrored past, they are lost at last A bizarre test, an unmanagable quest Delirium manifest, greeted by my final rest Thank you for reading.

No, Sinemet is not a cure. Pharmacological tolerance is inevitable, no matter what psychoactive drug/precursor you ingest. By pure physics, tiny calcium ion atoms swim around inside our plasma membranes called axons. The receptors located on our axons have an electrical charge, and so does our cathecolamine- and monoamine-compounds, which are also called hormones. When a hormone reaches a receptor it shifts the electrical balance of the receptor itself, because it attracts ion atoms and switch electrons. This is how tolerance is gained. The definition of Sinemet, nevertheless is that it's a treatment, a supplement to purposely alleviate the symptoms. But I'm back here now under the influence of Modafinil to tell you that my Visual Snow is almost gone completely. Temporary of course, but a huge relief nonetheless. According to my research, I see it as an Analeptic Nootropic agent actually, inducing Dopamine, Norepinephrine and even acting on the peptides of orexin, works a little on Serotonin as well though, which is regrettably. But also; it inhibits GABA-receptors and increases stimulation with Glutamic Acid in the brain. That's a cognitive stimulative nootropic by definition to me. The half life time is quite long, longer than amphetamine. Eating is relatively easy to commit to, while on a low dosage (200 MG), I have now taken 2000 MG (Not all at once dear god), recreational purpose only, I've been programming on a game for 30 hours straight. My apologies for the off-topic. I realize that I can not start to shit chat while on a stimulant. I hope my opinions are appreciated here. I am autistic so I can't really tell. But I will keep posting. I used to have social phobia, that's a bitch. Okay, I'm going to shut up now.

I meant that if it works; why stop taking it? I may have missphrased myself.

You shouldn't be scared. Even if you stop taking Sinemet after a while and the symptoms become worse, it will only be temporary as synaptic ion atoms will rebalance your receptor affinities again. Meaning your condition will become as it was before taking Sinemet. But do try the treatment, it could alleviate your symptoms and you could feel better as of it being a form of treatment. It is highly individual on how it works, but it will not permanently become worse either way. Always read other peoples experiences on treatments though.