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A beatiful mind




I remember the guy dropping water onto my tongue and how he called it "holy water" and I remember walking back to my friends house after we had just consumed what would be one holy experience. It felt like only 20 minutes had gone by and then wham! Hit me like rocks. I was running back and forth from this burst of energy running through my body. My body felt like a bed sheet flapping in the wind I felt so dancy and my body wanted to move to every sound in the music we had on blast. I turned my phone on and the images we,re moving as if it were some magical TV show. I laid down on my back looking at the ceiling at the moving designs and how they looked all Native American and vibrate in colors outlining each shape. My friend and I couldn't stop laughing the whole night making up jokes that would soon be our inside jokes only we got. The colors We saw made us feel like we were in heaven because of the brightness and vivid flavors that breathed off of it. My mouth felt as if it was swimming in different flavors of chocolate then cherry then turkey. The TV was so bright in the dark room across the hallway it felt like I was getting sucked in so we turned it off. My feelings were the highest they could be from thinking everything was the funniest to feeling like this is how love feels. The thing that got me the most was that I felt as if I were in a totally different land where I could be anything and there was no judging because in this land everything doesn't have to make sense. I called it never land because I never wanted to leave. My friend and I shared this feeling that it felt like we were little kids on a play date because our imagination was getting the best of us.(and yet we're both 22). Around 8 am I finally was coming down and it took my friend and I 20 minutes to say goodnight because we were saying goodnight to the trees, then the bed then to the TV ect. The next day I woke up feeling refreshed somewhat renewed and I felt as if I visited paradise and know what other planets beyond ours has to offer.

Then the fun begins...

A week later, I noticed something different. It was on Tuesday the 18th of November 2014 I noticed a difference in my vision. I noticed when in daylight I would see trails behind every moving object. I was getting this weird fuzzy dotted rainbow vision as if it was an Instagram filter for my eyes. I would see halos around lights even worser at night. The floor beneath me is always either morphing(only in the corner of my eyes) or looked farther down then it really was. Rainbow lines would zap across my vision everytime I move my head fast to turn. The text on my phone either was moving across or had a rainbow outline to it and my head would get awful pulsating migranes that would pierce my brain thinking I have a brain tumor. The scary thing is, i didn't smoke pot and my eye pupils weren't enlarged. I thought it would go away in a week but now on the 24th it's gotten worse. I see things in Hd now so it looks like I'm living in a blue ray movie, after images slowly fry away after I look at something for a little bit. And I see blotches of light blue or yellow on white walls randomly. Sometimes colored lights play tricks on me making me think the whole room is that color. Don't even get me started on the panick and anxiety attacks I get now. I know this isn't real In my mind but my heart can't match it up so it gets nervous and beats fast cause it's scared and then makes me scared. Luckily though, I alreDy am prescribed Xanax and it calms me down but the visions still go on but my heart is relaxed so I'm not freaking out.

My reason for joining this site is not for medical treatment or even looking up symptoms. I know it's hppd and I know that I have it now. All I'm looking for is support for coping with this. I like to know that other people suffer from this disorder but I want to know that we can support each other and know that it's going to be ok, we didn't do anything wrong and that life goes on but with help life can be renewed.

I hope that someday I can be a guest speaker at schools to teach students about this disorder and the reality of it and that there is a balance in life. I had a fun good trip but the bad comes from the after experience but it doesn't have to be all that bad.

May you live a long happy life

Brandon Z



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